19th February 2019

Samples of Satire

  1. Non – threatening leadership strategies for women
“When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you’re telling them what to do and more like you care about his opinions.”
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don’t want your male coworkers to think you’re getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just “thinking out loud,” “throwing something out there,”
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don’t come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let’s face it, no one might’ve ever heard it if he hadn’t repeated it.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

2. OXFORD University has defended its admissions policy by saying it is powerless to take black students when they have not been educated at Eton.  

Following revelations that one in three Oxford colleges failed to admit a black student in 2015, the university hit out at Eton, Harrow, and Cheltenham Ladies’ College for their ‘inexcusable’ lack of diversity.

A spokesman for the university said: “We would love to see more black students in our quads, and promise by their third year the porters would only aggressively tackle them occasionally.

“But when Eton sends us a pitiful handful of black students, and when so few of even the high-achieving ones come from Buckinghamshire and have two parents who are surgeons, our hands are tied.

“You’ll see a black candidate with a superb academic record but then when it comes to punting, rowing or braying they simply cannot meet the required standard.

“At least the few working-class students we admit each year have a chance of working in comedy, but there’s no hope there for black students when the BBC remains so hideously white.

“It’s such a shame. They could make us look so much better in group photos.”

Respond now!